To Ruminate: To Reflect Deeply

So over the past few months (even a year, maybe) I have been collecting a number of my favourite ruminations, from ruminations.com. Thanks to Ash for tipping me off on this website, it has provided an incredible amount of laughter; it’s now become a custom for Nat & I to ask each other, “Got any new rumes for me lately?!”….

So here’s a great big list of our favourites (Disclaimer: yes, some do have potty words. Don’t take offense – just laugh)...

1. The letters T and G are very close to each other on a keyboard. This recently became all too apparent to me and consequently I will never be ending a work email with the phrase "Regards" again.
2. There is a great need for sarcasm font
3. Answering the same letter three times or more in a row on a Scantron test is absolutely petrifying.
4. I think my other three stove burners are becoming jealous of front-right.
5. While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it...thanks Mario Kart.
6. Whenever I'm Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just got the Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don't mind if I do!
7. If Carmen San Diego and Waldo ever got together, their offspring would probably just be completely invisible.
8. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.
9. I hate passing someone in the street and realizing they weren't as slow as you thought they were...and then the next 10 minutes are spent ensuring you keep ahead of them no matter the pace because god forbid you may be re-overtaken!
10. I'm aware you're entitled to that seat next to me on the bus but i still get extremely agitated when you sit in it... who do you think you are? Yet if you walk past that seat and go and sit somewhere else I'll secretly feel a little bit offended.
11. I've yet to figure out what that one thing is Meatloaf won't do for love.
12. Did I just say, "those trousers look pretty sharp"!? Oh middle-age... you snuck up on me with that one.
13. If you answer the question "what do you want to do?" with the question "I don't, know, what do you want to do?" we're not *beeping!* hanging out anymore.
14. I don't think that anybody has ever thought, "I have too many tater tots."
15. When I pull the big knife out of the block I make a 'shhhing' sound effect with my mouth.
16. I can be turning into a parking lot at 5 miles an hour, but if my mom's in the passenger's seat, you better believe she will be death-gripping the door handle.
17. Yep, it’s been confirmed, the most awkward thing is when you’re walking and a couple holding hands is coming right at you. You zig when they zag, they look confused, you look alone, and then they’re forced to drop hands and let you pass between them.
18. There is no greater disappointment in life than when you take a bite out of a chocolate chip cookie... and discover raisins.
19. Video games these days are too complicated. Call me a purist, but I like the old school games where the only objective is to go from the left to right without touching a bad guy.
20. It's embarrassing enough that you're making me fist-bump in public, don't you *beeping!* dare 'blow it up' afterwards.
21. The thing I miss most about college is sleeping through hangovers. Back when "Mohito Mondays" and "Wine Wednesdays" weren't followed by "Throwing up with the conference call on mute Tuesdays" and "Smelling like failure and sadness Thursdays."
22. If you get on the elevator a few floors after me, and then get off a few floors before me, I will curse you under my breathe. I know it's not your fault, but bitch I had to stop TWICE for you.
23. I wish that every time I frowned at somebody in irritation or disapproval, there was an accompanying clap of thunder.
24. I hate people who wave their arms wildly when they walk. I would try to pass you, but there's not enough room on this sidewalk for me, you and your two miniature windmills.
25. Dear URL bar, can we agree on a number of clicks it takes to highlight the whole address? I hate clicking a few times then clicking like a mad person only to miss the one time it actually got highlighted in my frenzied clicking.
26. The saddest thing I saw all summer was a diet cookbook left on the shelf halfway down the candy/chocolate aisle in Wal Mart. Someone lost all hope right here.
27. Since his recent weight loss, my dad has taken an interest in fashion. When my mom asked him about this he said, "Yes, I am becoming a megasexual."
28. Don't bore me with stories about your trip. I've already Facebook stalked. I'm aware you went snorkeling and met Gloria Estefan.
29. Reaching the bottom of the peanut butter jar with a knife is like the game Operation. Careful. Slooow. No Shaking. Need.Peanut Butter.On.My.Knife.... (BZZZZ) Son of a bitch, peanut butter on my knuckles again!
30. Good timing is an important part of good cooking. I know I am a good cook because I often reach for the microwave right as it dings
31. I got these new pajama bottoms and they have pockets. Which is great, because I was getting really tired of holding things while I slept.
32. I have no idea when the last time I ate a whole candy bar was. But I can sure tell you the last time I ate a whole bag of fun sized bites. Currently.
33. When you tell me your baby's age, I shouldn't have to do division. 52 months? Should he be in diapers or first grade? Who knows?
34. I plan on sending my cardiologist bill directly to the designer who placed the switch for the lights in my kitchen right next to the switch for the garbage disposal
35. It is said that brushing your teeth with the opposite hand stimulates brain activity in the morning. I tried it and stabbed myself in the back of the throat. Yep, I'm wide awake now.
36. What do you mean by "you would." Is that an insult? Compliment? Yes, I would, hence I did.
37. I wish the check engine light in cars had a scale of 1-10, with 1 being "I'm kinda hurtin', but no biggie", and 10 being "Bitch I swear if you don't act now your ass is going to be shit out of luck in about 2 more miles".
38. Walking off the plane and out of the gate tunnel in a crowded airport, is the closest you will come to feeling like someone famous.
39. If all my teachers ended an important fact with the word "bitch" I would have done so much better in school. 2 + 2 = 4..... Bitch!
40. My son has one of those electronic games that doesn't have an off button - it has to sit idle long enough for me to forget about it and think I'm alone in the room, then it shouts "I'M OUTTA HERE!" shutting down the game and my sphincter control.
41. TV could sure use another show about cakes.
42. There are few products in which I'll spring for the most expensive brand. Tissues, however, are one of them. I'd be blowing my nose on baby rabbits if given the option
43. Why did we ever think a six disc CD changer in the trunk of the car was an awesome and convenient invention? "I brought my favorite CD for the road-trip." "Great! We'll check it out in an hour after the next pitstop"
44. When I change a light bulb, even though I clearly know the old one's dead, I still have to shake it to hear that little rattle, like I'm some slick detective or something. "Yep, just as I suspected."
45. Screw this 1:59AM to 3AM on a Sunday thing. I think we should spring ahead some time during the work week, like go straight from 2:59PM to 4PM on a Wednesday.
46. I'm glad that quotes are the only punctuation requiring the occasional hand gesture. It would get ridiculous if you had to do a fist pump to emphasize a comma.
    

I miss these faces...

Olympic Spirit Has Arrived

There’s a certain vibe going on in Vancouver right now and I honestly can’t help myself from grinning ear to ear whenever I hear more or see more. The 2010 Winter Olympics are here: in my backyard, in my city, in my province, in my country and never before have I been so proud to be Canadian & Vancouverite.

Hosting the Olympics is such a huge and momentous occasion for our city/country that I feel like I should be taking in every single second of action and not missing a thing. I am overwhelmed with anticipation for our athletes and excitement for the celebrations to come. Canada won its first gold medal on home soil for the first time in Olympic history on February 15th – Alexandre Bilodeau in Men’s Moguls – and the medal ceremony? Can you just imagine being there, totally engulfed with joy and brimming with pride for this 22-yr old from Montreal? What about our second gold, Maielle Rickers for Women’s Snowboard Cross? It amazes me and brings me inexplicable amount of happiness to know that these folks (and all Canadian medalists) have been training so hard and they get to actually win on home ground. They may never again get to experience that.

And that’s a huge reason of why I’m overflowing with giddiness when it comes to these Games. They’re HERE. In Vancouver! And I get to experience this once-in-a-lifetime event, side by side with millions of others proud Canadians. The city of Vancouver looks absolutely spectacular and God is putting on an awesome show for those visiting this beautiful place; brilliant sunshine, snow-capped mountains and blue skies. Of course, being downtown is an experience of its own and one that I’m itching to be a part of; I haven’t been yet, can you believe it?! But you can bet your bottom dollar that I’ll be there soon with my camera(s) in hand, snapping away at these hundreds of memories that I’ll be able to look back on in 50 years and say “I was there…and there…and there…and there!”

I can’t wait to see the people, the buildings, the red & white, the events, the concerts, the lights, the sounds, the smells, the sights…and I can’t wait to feel the vibe.

Time Needs to Change

Half an hour left to go in my work day; the wind is howling outside, the rain is coming down hard and it’s getting darker by the minute…yup, tonight’s going to be a good night.

For you see, tonight, I plan to do nothing at all. Well not nothing exactly (can you just imagine me sitting on the couch staring at my knees all night? Haha, yea right!). I’ve been looking forward to a night like this for a while now. One where I can catch up on laundry, catch up on reading, catch up on sleep, catch up on little projects, catch up on solitude and silence. I hate the idea of having to play catch up, but when I get the rare opportunity to do so, I embrace it.

Who knew that at my age I’d be yearning for nights at home doing laundry?? Who knew I’d be asking for MORE time in a day, or MORE time in a week? I’ve really been looking at time as something to beat; an enemy if you will. And yet that’s not what God created time to be. Surely time is meant to be used wisely and effectively and productively; and not productively in the sense that you constantly have to be busy ‘doing’ something, but in the sense that you’re doing the ‘right’ things.

Have I been doing the ‘right’ things lately? I really think I have been…and yet why am I constantly trying to beat time and get more out of it? Just 5 more minutes here, just 30 more minutes there…technically, am I abusing time if there is such a thing? I’m certainly not using it as wisely, effectively or productively as I should, but I still manage to get things done somehow. I think abusing time like that works to an extent, but it comes with 4 big consequences: tired body, tired mind, tired heart & tired soul.

The Lord wants our beings to be fresh, awake, rejuvenated, rested and yet also ready for whatever He calls us to. Yes, He can provide energy and supernatural abilities to get things done, but surely He’s not a fan of laziness and ineffectiveness?

I see some ch-ch-ch-ch changes coming along to my ol’ friend Time. Get ready, Time, get ready.

2 of 7

I am the Church of Sardis
I am the Church of Philadelphia

Busy with externals, religious activity, devoid of spiritual life & power – I have faith, but I am timid – I need to wake up, take action – I need God’s power to strengthen me, give me direction, wisdom, understanding and guidance. I need time. I need quiet. I need solitude. I need alone with with Him.

*Sardis & Philly were two of the seven churches that letters were written to in the book of Revelation. Look them up - which Church are you?*

Blessed.

My list is growing. Good Lord, is my list ever growing. First it’s this project, then it’s that proposal, then it’s that research, then it’s just this "little" but still time consuming buy, then it’s the on-going project that never leaves, then it’s another new project that requires all your effort and time, then it’s back to the old campaign, and then it’s accommodating requests, and determining dates and juggling budgets, and then it’s emails, and emails, and emails, and emails! Good Lord, my list is growing.

But I love it and I feel blessed.

G-Rizz Turns the Big 2-8!

Yup, my brother Gareth has officially turned 28. Not that 28 is a ‘big’ year in any way – but it’s big because it’s the first time I can blog about it! And he just so happens to be a very important person to me, so it all works itself out well. So here is an ‘ode’ to Bob (yes, Bob; I couldn’t pronounce his name when I was younger, so Bob it was):

Early childhood memories of Gareth include me breaking his “I-worked-on-this-for-HOURS!” Lego marble structure, playing hide-and-go-seek in his room and me breaking my arm (it was a great hiding spot though), being pulled around the lawn on a cardboard box because all the grass had died and made for a nice ‘skimming’ effect, getting so excited to see the white mould inthe garage because we thought it was SNOW(!), playing with dirt in the back corner by the rose bushes, zapping fireflies in the front lawn, playing on (or getting rolled over by) the ‘jungle gym’, riding our bikes down to the pool when it was hot, and secretly admiring him and his friends from my little ol’ grade 3 point of view….those are just a few…

Then the teenage years roll on by and we begin to see his passion come through; music. He begs my parents for a drum kit and plays incessantly for hours and hours and hours in his small little room with no fresh air and no proper lighting. He loved it and you could see the glee on his face when he really ‘got’ it. Unfortunately, the practicality of it, and the fact that the two grumpy old men downstairs didn’t like it too much, took over and we got rid of the drum set. Then the techno-trance-house-drum-&-base music started and we thought that would never end. “Around the world, around the world…around the world, around the world…” Thanks Daft Punk; you’ll forever be in my memory now. He thrived off of creating new music and putting two unseemingly (is that a word?) good beats together. He got himself some turn tables and records and there the passion began to flourish. Again, hours upon hours of spinning and mixing and it was then that we too realized his potential.

Have you ever seen someone doing something they really love, and been fortunate enough to be a part of it and witness it first hand? That’s what it’s like when I watch G play. Cue the sappy music if you will. Seriously though, I have always admired my brother for his drive, his talent, his enthusiasm, his passion and his love for others. I admire his creativity and the fact that he just writes and draws and designs whatever he wants – and it looks GOOD. Really GOOD.

He is a gifted musician, artist & entrepreneur and I thank God for placing him in my life to laugh with, to argue with, with make fun of my mom with (all with love, of course), to share his joy with & to watch him play. I look up to him for his tenacity and integrity and am thankful that at least one of us got the ‘musical’ genes from my mom & grandpa. He is supportive and always willing to offer some good advice or ideas, whether he thinks I’ll follow through with them or not.

Minus some rough patches throughout the years, we’re pretty close now and I love our relationship. We’re brother and sister, and no matter what your relationship is like with your siblings, you just can’t deny that brothers/sisters share a special bond unlike any other kind of siblings.

So Bob – Happy Birthday brudda. You deserve only the happiest moments in life and I pray that you’ll see God’s love for you soon.
Here’s to another 28 years of “Shagrath”.

Love you,
Thug.

DJ Eldon, doing what he loves...

Brudda & Sista.